1. Let others tell their own stories first:
When others explain their situations, they may reveal interesting facts and valuable clues that will aid you in helping them solve their problems or satisfy their needs. By letting them speak first, you also save time. When their interests are revealed you can tailor your discussion to their particular needs, goals, and objectives and can dispense with inappropriate conversation.
2. Be sensitive to your emotional deaf spots.
Deaf spots are words that make your mind wander or go off on a mental tangent. They set off a chain reaction that produces a mental barrier in your mind, which in turn inhibits the continued flow of the speaker’s message. Everyone is affected by certain words so it is important to discover your own individual stumbling blocks and analyze why these words have such a profound effect on you.
3. Focus on Speaker:
Focus your attention on the words, ideas, feelings, and underlying intent. Through practice you can improve your power of concentration, so that you can block out external and internal distractions and attend totally to the speaker.
4. React to the message, not the person.
Don’t allow your mental impression of the speaker to influence your interpretation of his message. Good thoughts, concepts, and arguments can come from some of your least favorite people
When another person speaks, try to put him at ease by creating a relaxed, accepting environment. Do not give the speaker the impression that you want to jump right in and speak. Give him a chance to speak his mind